Tuesday, January 15, 2008

White hot molten cake and ....

I will just let you know upfront that the end of this post may be a little gross for some people so just be warned...So I went to dinner with my sweet friend Brandi last night. We went to Chilis and sat down in a booth at the end of the isle. We chatted for a few minutes and eventually pulled out the menus and right off, as if guided by laser beams my eyes spotted this "NEW MENU" item that was accompanied by a glamor shot of the featured treat. It was this white hot molten chocolate cake dessert thingy. Basically it was warm white cake with warm white chocolate sauce and a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream topped with more white chocolate sauce and drizzled with a tiny bit of tangy raspberry sauce and more white chocolate shavings on the tippy top. Probably not on the "guiltless" menu but I quickly scanned the page for those words, I held out hope but it was in vain. It literally took 2.5 seconds for my eyebrows to go all the way up to my hairline and my finger to affix to that glossy picture of goo and to look at my server and say "I will have that". I wiggled in my seat with sweet anticipation for it to get there. I think Brandi was still sitting there. I think she was saying stuff to me, I can remember seeing her mouth moving...so I am sure she was communicating something....but my attention was seriously on each tray that came out of the kitchen area and me willing my cake to come out to me. It was like I was getting something I had always wanted, but I just had to wait one more minute.... and the waiting was killing me!!!! Then...there she was, my amazing server, my new friend, she set the tray down and there it was...even better than I remembered. She reached in front of me to set the plate down and the smell from the plate was this warm sweetness that seemed so familiar yet so foreign. I have been dieting for what seemed like forever. Mamas home. Come to me. Oh, the cake was warm and chocolate was warm and sweet. I had some kind of fish thingy dinner too ...back to the cake. Oh it was amazing. I was so happy. All of a sudden I heard something that sounded like someone pouring soup on a slab of concrete and my attention is momentarily diverted from my bliss. I look down the isle to see a little boy about 8 or 9 years old and he is standing behind this puddle and he has his hand over his mouth and his head held out away from his body. His eyes were as big as saucers and they were darting back and forth. It does not take very long and before people are backing out of his way and grabbing their jackets and purses in disgust. Then he projectile vomits again. This time people just leave the restaurant in a huff. I, on the other hand say, "aw thats a shame" and immediately go back to my heavenly concoction. MMM warm chocolate. I mean I am sure he had parents somewhere...right? I was not going to let a little vomit get in between me and my cake. They could have called for an all out evacuation of the joint and I would have died there with my warm white chocolate cake. My love for a moment. Then here comes my other friend GUILT....but I will save that for another day. Pray for my weakness, my friends, as it seems all it takes to sway me from my current path of health, is a glossy picture of whipped sugar and lard. Sigh....L.

7 comments:

Ericka O'Malley said...

Lisa, you could write for a living! I laughed OUT LOUD at this! Maybe it's cuz I already knew to brace myself for the ending, but your description of the anticipation of your cake was hysterical!

Ummm, I read the "bad" part really fast, as I said before... if there is such thing as vomit phobia, I have it. EWWW.

Seriously, that didn't bother you but my EYE did?

Lisa Allen said...

I think if my cake hadn't been there I would have been just as grossed out as everyone else, but I was clouded by warm chocolate cake. It is a either a gift or aa sickness...I am still investigating.

Krista said...

I would have still eaten the cake too ! Can't say I blame you one bit.

Gabe, Elizabeth, Perryn, and Teagan said...

I found you through the Chandlers and have been keeping track with you and your weight loss, since I too am trying to get rid of my pregnancy weight that attached itself to me 4 years ago!! Anyways, I understand slips and temptation. Keep up your hard work and take one day at a time.

Good Luck.

Gabe, Elizabeth, Perryn, and Teagan said...

I found you through the Chandlers and have been keeping track with you and your weight loss, since I too am trying to get rid of my pregnancy weight that attached itself to me 4 years ago!! Anyways, I understand slips and temptation. Keep up your hard work and take one day at a time.

Good Luck.

Jonathan, Andrea and Luke said...

hi everyone, be jealous! I heard the story IN PERSON! Even funnier!
Lisa...consider writing babe.

Patyrish said...

This is one hilarious entry. I told Andrea I was ROLLING when I read it the first time. That cake sounds awesome though and I doubt I would have been able to resist ordering it myself. Although I am not sure what I would have done had someone puked....were people really running LOLOL hahahhahaahhah