Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Thoughts for today...Thursday Feb 14th

As I laid in bed last night, I was keenly aware of the weight of the world on me...I hate to sound like a whiney person but I have never been injured in any significant way in my life..ever...so all of these pains are new to me...my leg hurt from working all day and lets not forget about the gapping wound that still plagues me...my other leg hurt because I was trying to over compensate and shift my weight onto the good leg, which in turn made my back hurt from standing in a strange possition all day...my head hurt because I my allergies are flarring up and I have sinuses...so my left nostril was blocked... I am afraid to take a freaking Aleve while on other drugs, mainly antibiotics, I am not going to take any more pain meds...I don't wanna wind up like poor Heath Ledger....as I laid there starring at the ceiling which was illuminated only by the bright blue light of my alarm clock...I thought for a long time about how in the world people live in chronic pain that drugs can't really touch...like uncomprehensible pain, older folks with swollen joints, who live in such pain that they can't open a jar, special needs kids who can't even communicate the depth of their pain, our soldiers coming home with limbs missing...the list went on and on...I couldn't believe that it took this event, my dog bite incident, to make me think about that...really think about it. Actually on a very small level...understand it in a way. For the first time in my life I prayed for God to come back and relieve all the pain not just my pain but the worlds pain...I never had done that before because I was afraid of that day...I knew in my heart I was not ready, not where I should be with the Lord..I took inventory last night and decided that I am no longer afraid and I am ready for that day to come now...I know the likelyhood of that is not very good in my lifetime but I prayed for it anyway. I also prayed for rest. It is amazing how a good nights rest makes the day so much brighter, God is so good to give us genuine rest. I woke up and I had very little pain and I knew I could make it through another day, I just faced this day with a much different perspective...L.

3 comments:

Ericka O'Malley said...

Wow Lisa, I really see your heart in this. I had similar nights like these during my "time" a few years ago... my heart really goes out to people in chronic pain just like you said.

I love the end of your post... when you have that moment where you truly rely on God for your basic needs...just rest and getting through the day. I remember praying once, "Lord I need you more than air today", and I really meant it. I think I felt most loved by Him in this time because I knew that He wanted my faith in Him to grow. It worked. Amazing.

Love you.

The Waters Family said...

Such a wonderful entry for Valentine's Day! Whenever I feel bogged down with my probs-- I see -- All around me-- that there are so many others suffering more than myself-- It will be so magnificient and glorious when the Saviour comes again and the harshness of this world is no more! Thanks for turning my mind and thoughts to spiritual things -- I needed it!

Jonathan, Andrea and Luke said...

Man...He's awesome in your life honey. I loved this post and needed to be reminded of it.
Praise HIM. GIRL. Praise HIM.
Only Jesus can whew a heart to pray for the pain of strangers.
Ugggh, so touching.