Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Thoughts for today...Thursday Feb 14th
As I laid in bed last night, I was keenly aware of the weight of the world on me...I hate to sound like a whiney person but I have never been injured in any significant way in my life..ever...so all of these pains are new to me...my leg hurt from working all day and lets not forget about the gapping wound that still plagues me...my other leg hurt because I was trying to over compensate and shift my weight onto the good leg, which in turn made my back hurt from standing in a strange possition all day...my head hurt because I my allergies are flarring up and I have sinuses...so my left nostril was blocked... I am afraid to take a freaking Aleve while on other drugs, mainly antibiotics, I am not going to take any more pain meds...I don't wanna wind up like poor Heath Ledger....as I laid there starring at the ceiling which was illuminated only by the bright blue light of my alarm clock...I thought for a long time about how in the world people live in chronic pain that drugs can't really touch...like uncomprehensible pain, older folks with swollen joints, who live in such pain that they can't open a jar, special needs kids who can't even communicate the depth of their pain, our soldiers coming home with limbs missing...the list went on and on...I couldn't believe that it took this event, my dog bite incident, to make me think about that...really think about it. Actually on a very small level...understand it in a way. For the first time in my life I prayed for God to come back and relieve all the pain not just my pain but the worlds pain...I never had done that before because I was afraid of that day...I knew in my heart I was not ready, not where I should be with the Lord..I took inventory last night and decided that I am no longer afraid and I am ready for that day to come now...I know the likelyhood of that is not very good in my lifetime but I prayed for it anyway. I also prayed for rest. It is amazing how a good nights rest makes the day so much brighter, God is so good to give us genuine rest. I woke up and I had very little pain and I knew I could make it through another day, I just faced this day with a much different perspective...L.